Stuck In Time! (I Would Have Called it Frozen, but This is no Disney Tale!)

Still not divorced with no end in sight! Everything has come to a complete standstill. My hopefully soon to be ex started all of this and it is because of him that everything has come to a halt. Not surprised actually, he is a control freak and I'm sure this is his way of being controlling. Everything my attorney asks for is ignored and everything my hopefully soon to be ex asks for is completed due to my having picked the nice attorney.  Or is it because I am the woman and the old boy network we have hired expects it of me?

Like next week I am going to see a court ordered vocational counselor. I have been out of the job market for 27 years, who on earth would hire me? He is requesting this because after all of my years of servitude he doesn't want to pay me alimony. In his out of touch world he actually thinks I am hirable. I wish that I was, I had a career I loved and I gave it up. I should have had my head examined. 

Every choice in our lives, he chose, where we lived, our furniture even the dishes. He will have a surprise as this experience draws to a close he will also have to pay me for all of our stuff that he chose!

I'm sorry this post has no humor in it, I feel like I am starting to lose it! But I still enjoy fashion and here is my latest blog about Paris Haute Couture week, I can dream can't I?

http://mycheapfashionfix.blogspot.com/2015/01/paris-haute-couture-fashion-week.html

My Theory of Everything!

A new year, another chance to start over. I only hope this one will be happier for my son. His father has stopped responding to my texts or emails that I send only when it is something important and that I am legally obligated to let him know. After all he is still his father even though he doesn't act like it. He is acting like a man without any responsibilities, how am I supposed to co-parent under these circumstances? 

Now to add to my son's depression his dad wasn't even in town for the holidays. Doesn't he realize what he is doing to his child? Does he even care? How can some people put their own happiness before their child's? I put my son's needs before my own. I brought him into this world and I am going to take care of him until he is grown and on his own. I only hope he will grow into a happier man. 

I think my hopefully soon to be ex is probably mad because the court ordered him to pay alimony. I gave up my life and my career to help him with his career, and I know he doesn't feel my life was worth anything. After 30 years I was so easily replaced by someone almost half my age. 

I was thinking about the movie "The Theory of Everything". Would our understanding of the universe have been forever changed if Stephen had been Stephanie? Would a man have been as supportive of a brilliant disabled female physicist? Even from his wheelchair and without a voice of his own Stephen Hawking left his wife of 30 years for the nurse he met while he was hospitalized. Really? I guess I shouldn't feel too bad about being replaced.

January seems a good time to start linking my other blog: My Cheap Fashion Fix, with hopes of giving more information on fashion and deals!

http://mycheapfashionfix.blogspot.com/2014/12/woodstock-in-honor-of-joe-cocker.html

 

Ghosts of Christmas Past!

Wrapping presents for Christmas morning I thought about all of the Christmases we have spent in this house. Next year will probably be the last one spent in this house, my home for the longest period of my life and all of my children's life. The only home they have ever known.

This year is no different from any other Christmas when the kids were small. I always shopped alone for all the presents and always wrapped them by myself, alone, trying so hard to make the perfect Christmas for my family.

Looking back I feel really bad that I raised my kids with such a controlling father. Even when they were very small, they were never allowed to run to the tree, to express their joy openly and freely as children should be allowed to do. Their dad had to videotape their entrance no matter how many times it took for him to get the shot he was looking for.

I really hope for their sake they can take and remember the good parts of their Christmases growing up and maybe even use a part for their own holiday traditions as they build new families of their own and maybe if I am lucky they will allow me to be part of the fun too!

No Cheap Fashion Fix for today, but my newest article for Divorcedmoms.com; my Christmas gift: Favorite romantic holiday scenes just in time! I hope you enjoy them as much as I do!  
http://divorcedmoms.com/articles/my-10-favorite-romantic-holiday-movie-scenes 

I Never Realized I Was Sleeping The Enemy!

Wow, getting divorced is an eye opening experience! Who is this strange man I am at war with? Every document that comes from his lawyer's office is filled with so many lies that I am left speechless, (I shouldn't be surprised during my marriage I never had a voice anyway). I feel like that famous painting "The Scream" by Edvard Munch. I am screaming at the top of my lungs, but no one hears me.

After surrendering my life (oh, so many years) to build his life, now he doesn't want to pay alimony. Again I shouldn't be surprised, he never valued what I had given up (just my life, no biggie). Why is it that I am still on the receiving end of so much crap? Why is he allowed to lie on most of the legal correspondence? Why is he making this take so long? I thought HE wanted to get divorced?

Now for the next hoop I am supposed to jump through: a vocational evaluation! On top of destroying my life now I am supposed to support myself and my child and get a job after being off of the job market for 26 years? Really? Who is going to hire someone my age who has been off of my career path for that long? Especially in this job market when so many people are looking for work.

And who is supposed to be there for my son, who is going through such horrible sadness that it breaks my heart? Am I supposed to abandon him too?

"The Scream" sold for a record $120 million dollars two years ago, I only wish that my scream was worth something!

My Cheap Fashion Fix!

A sweater by Victor Carlini. Actually made in the US! 

Found a similar sweater for sale on Poshmark for $15.00. 

I purchased this one for $4.99 at The Salvation Army Family Store.

I am Thankful That I Am Not Dealing with the "Turkey"!

This is the second holiday season without my still hopefully soon to be ex, and I am thankful. I am thankful he is not here making my life miserable everyday. I am thankful for my life and my two amazing teenagers. What I am not thankful for and will never be thankful for is the way he hurt his son to become a teenager himself again, and more than a year later my son is still working through his pain.  

I am also not thankful for the way our holidays have become divided. My daughter back east will celebrate with his relatives and my son and I will not celebrate as he really doesn't want to celebrate any holiday anymore. 

How can people leave their children. How can they not feel responsible for raising a child they had wanted so badly. How can they not want to be with them everyday? How can they not see how their actions can destroy another human being?

I am thankful for the thought that maybe we will all get through this, and I am thankful to all of you that let me share my thoughts, Happy Thanksgiving!

My Cheap Fashion Fix

In the color of the season T-shirt dress by All Saints purchased from 

The Salvation Army Thrift Store $6.00 T-shirt dresses range from $120-$160

They had some great deals and everyday they offer 

an additional percent off of a select section of the store.

Divorce Advice Said Best By Devo!

It was a lovely day! When a lot of the country is already trapped in snow, I still have Monarchs in my garden, the Milkweed I planted is keeping them here longer than I expected. "When a good time turns around you must whip it!"

I had to smile at the memory of how angry my husband had been when I ripped out the dead overgrown bushes. I had decided to make the garden a living beautiful place and it is. Butterflies and hummingbirds are here everyday and I'm glad I had finally stood up for something I wanted and now I am still here to enjoy my work while he has been gone for over a year. "No one gets their way until they whip it!"

Today my son stated that he did not want to be here any longer. I am not sure yet what that exactly means. We will talk about it later. Everything is still stuck on hold. It's been over a month since the judge signed the support papers and I still have not received the money owed me from last year. Why go through having a judge finalize orders if it is not respected by the other side? Why does it seem like women are always the ones left waiting? "When something's going wrong you must whip it!"

Why can't I find anything humorous to add to this post? Humor is the only thing getting me through all of this. "You will never live it down unless you whip it!"

At least I can share my greatest Cheap Fashion Fix find yet! 
"It's not too late to whip it, whip it good!"

My Cheap Fashion Fix

An ivory voile burnout shirt regular price $44.00 purchased at Ross for $0.49!

Even I couldn't believe it, and it really looks great on!

In Divorce Land, When It Rains It Pours.

My support hearing came and went. The papers were finally filed and of course they had to contain an error. Then the papers finally got corrected.  So where is my corrected check? 

I heard from my daughter that her dad was mad because he has to pay me more money (so the nice attorney and the high road wasn't a bad choice) than the temporary support order so I know he knows, so why isn’t he paying? And why is he discussing this with her. We are not supposed to say any thing negative about the other parent. I don’t share any of legal proceedings with them; I just tell them everything will be fine.

Then (of course) in the middle of all of this my mom falls so I take her to the hospital. They check her in (after many hours in the ER) and order a load of tests. It turns out they think she has cancer, so they contact an oncologist. I am expecting the phone call, what I did not expect was to hear that my mom was being treated for colon cancer seven years ago. She never told anyone, and she stopped going for treatment. My husband never liked my mom and I was never allowed to help her, how could I with no real money of my own.

I feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole, wondering when I will land on my feet again.

My Cheap Fashion Fix

A Dress from Banana Republic listed on EBay $14.99 

Purchased at Thrift Trader for $2.00

I didn't like the ruffle so I cut it off.