Divorce, Destination Unknown!

Flying back east to take my daughter back to college. Another first: we are traveling alone this year, just the two of us. We picked up the rental car and started the long drive north to yet another state. The sky looked absolutely apocalyptic, dark and menacing clouds seem to block our path, like a scene from a bad movie, our lives and our destination looked bleak, as the skies seemed to warn us, of what I wasn’t sure.

Driving the same route through the same towns from memories of too many family trips to see my soon to be ex’s family. Not mine anymore, (they never even called to see how I was, or the kids; their own niece and nephew).  30 years…I guess I was never really a part of the family, or maybe they knew their brother well enough to know I wouldn’t be part of their family forever. Or maybe they aren’t considerate people.

All of those years, all of that precious time spent visiting people that really didn’t matter in the end. In a bleak area, pretending to be part of a family that I was never really a part of. Now my daughter is here, maybe all of those visits had a positive effect on her. Maybe she has happy memories of this place. If so, then it was worth every moment spent here. I will visit often and hopefully the scene will change for me too, from one of remorse to one of joy!  

I forgot to remember that every cloud really does have a silver lining.

Buying clothing in New Jersey is tax free!

My Cheap Fashion Fix

The perfect gray top for fall

by Elizabeth and James

Regular price $135.00

Purchased at Ross

$9.99

How Do I Not Love Thee Ex-Husband, Let Me Count The Ways!

Summer's long days have allowed me time to think and wax poetic even on the subject of my divorce. Well, actually I can't blame it on the summer, I have been house bound due to having both of my teenager's wisdom teeth extracted at the same time. (What was I thinking?) Summer ends before we know it, leaving so many things to be done before the kids go back to school. This is our first summer alone, taking care of everything and anything that needs to be done. While my hopefully soon to be ex gets to be the free, happy, single person I guess he always was. Probably my mistake, when he told me he was thinking of moving out last year I asked him to wait until our daughter left for college. So he stayed (and was not happy about it). He was only physically here last year, so I should be happy with two teenagers to take care for instead of three. 

Even my kids say it doesn't feel that different, he was never fully invested in their lives or activities. Not until he realizes he has lost total control of the situation and then tries to become part of the family again. That is what happened the other day. He decided he wanted me to wait on my son's extraction, even though his dentist said it was time. He then continued to bring up everything that happened last year, which included his continued denial of having a girlfriend. Why must he always bring up the past when I am trying so hard to live in the present, one day at a time?

He now says he left me because I was decisive, like it was a bad thing. He said I was doing their extractions at the same time because it was easier on me. (This is anything but easy!) Since they both needed it done, I did want them to have a bonding experience, something they could look back on and smile the way they look at each other now when both of them have such swollen cheeks.

So how many is that so far? I've lost count. I really need to get out of the house!

My Cheap Fashion Fix

Light, dip-dyed woven shirt

by Sanctuary

long sleeve shirts sell for $79-$89

Purchased at the Ten Dollar Mall store

$7.99