Wrapping presents for Christmas morning I thought about all of the Christmases we have spent in this house. Next year will probably be the last one spent in this house, my home for the longest period of my life and all of my children's life. The only home they have ever known.
This year is no different from any other Christmas when the kids were small. I always shopped alone for all the presents and always wrapped them by myself, alone, trying so hard to make the perfect Christmas for my family.
Looking back I feel really bad that I raised my kids with such a controlling father. Even when they were very small, they were never allowed to run to the tree, to express their joy openly and freely as children should be allowed to do. Their dad had to videotape their entrance no matter how many times it took for him to get the shot he was looking for.
I really hope for their sake they can take and remember the good parts of their Christmases growing up and maybe even use a part for their own holiday traditions as they build new families of their own and maybe if I am lucky they will allow me to be part of the fun too!
No Cheap Fashion Fix for today, but my newest article for Divorcedmoms.com; my Christmas gift: Favorite romantic holiday scenes just in time! I hope you enjoy them as much as I do!
http://divorcedmoms.com/articles/my-10-favorite-romantic-holiday-movie-scenes
Wow, getting divorced is an eye opening experience! Who is this strange man I am at war with? Every document that comes from his lawyer's office is filled with so many lies that I am left speechless, (I shouldn't be surprised during my marriage I never had a voice anyway). I feel like that famous painting "The Scream" by Edvard Munch. I am screaming at the top of my lungs, but no one hears me.
After surrendering my life (oh, so many years) to build his life, now he doesn't want to pay alimony. Again I shouldn't be surprised, he never valued what I had given up (just my life, no biggie). Why is it that I am still on the receiving end of so much crap? Why is he allowed to lie on most of the legal correspondence? Why is he making this take so long? I thought HE wanted to get divorced?
Now for the next hoop I am supposed to jump through: a vocational evaluation! On top of destroying my life now I am supposed to support myself and my child and get a job after being off of the job market for 26 years? Really? Who is going to hire someone my age who has been off of my career path for that long? Especially in this job market when so many people are looking for work.
And who is supposed to be there for my son, who is going through such horrible sadness that it breaks my heart? Am I supposed to abandon him too?
"The Scream" sold for a record $120 million dollars two years ago, I only wish that my scream was worth something!
My Cheap Fashion Fix!
A sweater by Victor Carlini. Actually made in the US!
Found a similar sweater for sale on Poshmark for $15.00.
I purchased this one for $4.99 at The Salvation Army Family Store.
