Last night I learned that my ex-mother-in-law is in a coma in the hospital. I have known this woman for over 30 years. Years ago when we went to Disneyland I was the one who pushed her wheelchair all day in the heat (it was 102 degrees that day).
She suffered a stroke. I feel this probably happened because her children were making plans to put her into an assisted living facility and the stress was too much for her. Change is difficult, especially as we get older. She raised a lot of children and no one would take her in. With no pets to comfort her, she rarely received visits and she lived alone.
I had been a part of this family for so long that I can remember when she was getting ready to put her own mother into a retirement home. Her mother didn't want to go either, but it was getting dangerous for her to live unassisted. She also had so many children and not one of them would take her in. I recollect that my almost ex-mother-in-law didn't even call her mom; she addressed her by her first name. I remember thinking how sad that she didn't feel close enough to her to call her mom.
Maybe I was never really part of the family (even after all of those years), when my hopefully soon-to-be-ex left no one called to see if I was ok, or even to see if the kids were alright (at least they are blood relatives). Now I think they may just not be a warm caring family, or maybe my soon to be ex-mother-in-law didn't model caring behavior (or her mother for that matter). I believe most of us have dysfunctional families in one-way or another.
I really hope she comes out of the coma. I don't think I would be welcome at the funeral. We didn't attend her husband's funeral years ago because my hopefully-soon-to-be-ex didn't want to pay for the airfare (too expensive for just a few days) and I think he probably told his family it was my fault for not attending.
So much to let go of and so much to look forward to embrace!
Here is my latest Cheap Fashion Fix!
http://mycheapfashionfix.blogspot.com/2015/02/fashion-week-season.html
Saturday, February 28, 2015
My Hopefully-Soon-To-Be-Ex: Poster Child for Midlife Crisis!
Shame on me, I should have known; the new Porsche, working out too
much and constantly fishing for compliments with "I look pretty good for
my age" over and over and over (he didn't, no matter how much he worked
out). You starting dying your hair and then the final straw: when you looked at
me, I felt your eyes say "meh"!
I knew then we wouldn't grow old together
and be like the old couples you still see holding hands as they walk together
down the street.
When I met you, you were wearing khakis
and polo shirts. A nerd from the east. You weren't cool before you met me.
You called me the recalcitrant teenager when all along I was just
being myself and you were becoming the teenager-again.
You will never know how difficult it is
for a single mom to raise a teenage son, alone. You left at a point in his life
when he needed you the most. An almost man; he needs a man to learn how to be a
man. But how could teach him anyway as you were becoming a teenager again?
I remember a time that feels so long ago,
before we had children we would go out to dinner and observe over the hill men
having dinner with naive young women. We would smile and comment on how nice we
thought it was that they were taking their daughters to dinner.
If I ever run into you with your new amore, I will try my best
not to congratulate you on your new daughter!
Here is the link to my latest Cheap
Fashion Fix, a visit to a consignment boutique!
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