Divorce and Personality Phases

Life is sometimes so strange. When we first met, my future husband was so free and fun. If it was a gloomy day, we would sometimes drive until we got to a place that was sunny. No real plans, except to wander. Maybe that is why I fell for him. After we were married I could sense the change coming. He started to become more controlling, no longer were we able to chase the sun. After we had children my husband used to call me a recalcitrant teenager. He became so grizzled and controlling. 

Now that we are divorcing (and he has a younger girlfriend), he has been reborn a  teenager, forever going to concerts and traveling, never in town. Why did having children make him change so drastically and why without children does he feel so free to become himself again? Is this version of himself the real one? Who was he all of those years between getting married and having children? 

I am still who I have always been. Growing and giving birth to two children has not changed me except maybe for the better. More loving, more giving, more caring!  

Thank you to my hopefully soon to be ex for leaving me to care for our son alone. 
I refuse to become prosaic and controlling as you once were. 
I will find my way through this single parenthood with "me" intact. 

My Cheap Fashion Fix

Floral print dress 

from H&M $12.95

(and this is the regular price)

Date of Separation Change, Really, Now?!?

Yesterday was an absolutely perfect day. My first article for Divorcedmoms.com appeared, (DivorcedMoms.com @DivorcedMoms Not letting divorce define you http://ow.ly/vHWSM @sk84fn) it feels so great to see myself in cyber print! I am now a guest author, so check it out, this site made me feel so normal when this all started, I knew I wasn't crazy or alone! Some of the articles even get picked up by other newspapers, so here's to hoping!

Then of course, the email from my attorney, (Why always on perfect days?) an amended petition. (what?) I guess my hopefully soon to be ex has decided to change the date of exactly when he knew he no longer wanted to be married to me! This after seven long months since the date he first decided he wanted a divorce. Straight to divorce, no separation box was marked then, he just wanted out! After 24 years he wanted out now and he wanted out as fast as he could get out! As if there was a fire and he was running for the exit. HE started all of this, he made the decision, he got to choose!

Yet here he was at home, (at least it looked like him) except for the times he took his girlfriend to "business" events. He even told our kids that he had to go, it was important business! More important than spending time with his daughter who was getting ready to move away from home for the first time in her life. He was there on my birthday (one of the worst ones I have ever had). He was there for all of our birthdays. He was on our family vacation too (although he did seem distracted and detached),
but he always acted that way. Nothing too far from our normal everyday lives.

So I am really wondering why the change of date now? Does he want to keep the truth from his girlfriend? That he was still living with his family? Or is it money related? After all of this time I'm still not sure which he loves more!

                    

             My Cheap Fashion Fix

I spotted a top like this one in black displayed 

in a designer window in Los Angeles last month. 

Sleeveless trapeze top with center zipper by Fond 

Purchased at ZFashion (10dollarmall.com online)

$5.99