Anniversaries: From Matrimony to Alimony

May is an anniversary of sorts; it has been a year since my husband told me he had been unhappy for a long time.  That was it unhappy, not depressed or lachrymose, just unhappy. (Unhappy, I was miserable!) But I had made a vow "till death do us part" (and he wasn't dead), and I was going to stick to it. I had no idea his "unhappiness" would lead to all of this a year later.

Unhappy in May (2 months after hiring his "girlfriend") to moving out in August. Whatever unhappiness he had been feeling was nothing compared to the misery of living with him that summer. (I guess he finally felt like sharing). His moods made our hot summer a cold one; it was like living with a wild animal that was trying to chew its foot off to free itself from a trap.

Today I received the email about finally setting a court date for alimony in August, (another anniversary, my wedding month). It's hard to believe that it has taken this long.  As someone that worked for her husband and lost their husband and job on the same day, I have been lucky, (I always try to look at the bright side, glass is half full and all of that) I have been getting temporary support checks but every month I worry, sometimes they are late, rarely early, always wondering if they will come...I really don't enjoy that part, the waiting. It feels like I am on a bad game show, did I win the prize this time?

            

 My Cheap Fashion Fix

Slip dresses are in again!

I found this one at

My Sister's Closet

recycled designer apparel  

Laundry by Shelli Segal

$12.00

Regular price range $135-$325

 

A Happy Divorced, Separated and Single Mothers Day!

My son has been watching our videos of when he was a baby, so of course I sat down to watch with him for awhile. I am so glad that I did. Watching him as that small infant, I couldn't believe they were the same person, that almost-man sitting next to me now. Have the years really gone by that quickly? (How many Mother's Days?) 

Then a scene of just the two of us, (I was giving him a bath). I couldn't stop myself as I started to cry happy tears when I saw the look in his eyes on the screen. I had forgotten that look of pure, unconditional love that shines in our baby's eyes as they look at us when they are so small and new to the world. It is the most pure emotion I had witnessed in years! That infinite emotional quality that I had forgotten even existed in the world, (and of course in our world of the separated, divorcing and single moms).

When do we lose that kind of connection? Is it all of the distractions of our daily lives? Can we only look at someone that way when they are new? Or we are new? 

I think as moms we always look at our kids that way. If not always from our eyes but from our hearts. I know I still feel that connection, that warmth I feel as it expands in my chest when I look at them sleeping. After all we carried them for nine months, our hearts beating in sync, one harmonious tune.

Happy Mother's Day!

My Cheap Fashion Fix

Anne Klein Collection 

sarong draped skirt

$3.00

Purchased at 

 Rancho Coastal Humane Society 

Thrift Shop

Every city has thrift stores, 

it is a great way to repurpose,

find great treasures, save money,

and give back to our communities!