Summer's
long days have allowed me time to think and wax poetic even on the subject of
my divorce. Well, actually I can't blame it on the summer, I have been house
bound due to having both of my teenager's wisdom teeth extracted at the same
time. (What was I thinking?) Summer ends before we know it, leaving so many
things to be done before the kids go back to school. This is our first summer
alone, taking care of everything and anything that needs to be done. While my
hopefully soon to be ex gets to be the free, happy, single person I guess he
always was. Probably my mistake, when he told me he was thinking of moving out
last year I asked him to wait until our daughter left for college. So he stayed
(and was not happy about it). He was only physically here last year, so I
should be happy with two teenagers to take care for instead of three.
Even my
kids say it doesn't feel that different, he was never fully invested in their
lives or activities. Not until he realizes he has lost total control of the
situation and then tries to become part of the family again. That is what
happened the other day. He decided he wanted me to wait on my son's extraction,
even though his dentist said it was time. He then continued to bring up
everything that happened last year, which included his continued denial of
having a girlfriend. Why must he always bring up the past when I am trying so
hard to live in the present, one day at a time?
He now
says he left me because I was decisive, like it was a bad thing. He said I
was doing their extractions at the same time because it was easier on me. (This
is anything but easy!) Since they both needed it done, I did want them to have a
bonding experience, something they could look back on and smile the way they
look at each other now when both of them have such swollen cheeks.
So how many is that so far? I've lost count. I really
need to get out of the house!
My Cheap Fashion Fix
Light, dip-dyed woven shirt
by Sanctuary
long sleeve shirts sell for $79-$89
Purchased at the Ten Dollar Mall store
$7.99
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